All This… Just to Say Goodbye
May is full of “end of” celebrations – ending after ending after ending. Yes, celebrations ensue, but each joy comes with a twinge or gut punch of pain. I’ll never see these teammates, teachers, friends again. My child will never play this or do this again. Enveloped in the celebration is the inevitable unknown of what is next. It’s the shedding and the void before the new beginning. Even if what’s to come offers growth and may ultimately be positive, this scary middle creates uneasy uncertainty.
As you watch the “end of” celebrations – the graduations, the parties, you fill the mix of emotions. Such joy, but mixed with sadness.
When I lead the Cutting the Ties sessions, people are there to let go. Let go of situations, relationships or habits that no longer serve them. But, why is there so much fear when it’s really a process of liberation?
Even when something is uncomfortable or not serving us, the known often feels easier. What will I be like without this relationship? What will I be like without the familiar – even if it’s not good for me?
I ask myself this as I lean back on the padded chair eyes locked on my son as he walks
across the stage at his 8th grade promotion. I should be excited – he’s entering high school, he’s going to a new school in a new community with new friends, new opportunities and endless possibilities. But, I find myself dwelling on what he won’t have, what he’ll miss out on and how things will never be the same.
I reach for my Kleenex to dab my tear trying to remind myself everything is impermanent. We see this cycle in nature, but it feels so painful when it’s happening to us.
As we reunite with the graduates at the end of promotion, we take photos, reminisce of fun memories and celebrate all that was. It is a time for joy but also unnerving anticipation of what is to come. It makes me remember before every new beginning is a goodbye.
Here’s to riding the wave of the void.
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